Thursday, April 22, 2010

Panic attack

As I type, I am in the middle of a panic attack. The Xanax is doing all it can but I still can't stop the panic. I'm over thinking everything and can't stop my mind and heart from racing.

The trigger? The job offer. To start Monday. As in 4 days from now. It's starting as a temporary position until they get client approval but this still doesn't help my mental state. I have to go in tomorrow morning to fill out paperwork and this is leaving me light-headed with panic. Twice I have gotten this far and twice I have let the fear take over. My spiritual healer is doing long-distance healing until I get in to see her on Sunday. I also have a call in to my regular therapist to try to get in to see her. I know that I need to break this pattern but I feel totally helpless, scared, and overwhelmed. I love my support system but I feel like no one fully understands.

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