Thursday, April 22, 2010
Right now, as I type, I have hit rock bottom. My fears, doubts, and anxiety have pushed me into a well with steep, slippery walls and I feel like there's no way I can climb out. I've cried so much my eyes hurt. I'm starving but I can't stomach the thought of eating. This job offer came at the best time -- On paper. I've been rejected by seven law schools so far and I'll have been unemployed for a year this June. I needed this job. But mentally, I feel so far from ready. To most people, it's just a job. You show up, do your work, get a paycheck, and go home. For me, it's become this daunting place full of the unknown. I don't want to burn this bridge with this company but at the same time, I don't want to lose everything over it either. I just pray to God I get better and there's a job waiting for me when I do. I know it's a lot to ask but right now, it's all I've got.