I'm back!

Ok so at the suggestion of (new) Therapist #2 (Therapist #1 is still in the picture, but only once a month), I am back to the bloggosphere! In the past year, I feel like me entire life has changed, but there are so many things that remain the same. Heres a breakdown of the past year:

- Moved into a new apartment
- Started and finished grad school (top of the class. W00t!)
- Saw a psychologist a few times to work on my anxiety (I learned some new ways to "trick" my anxiety, but that was about it)
- Took the LSATs for a third time (Totally bombed them but with my issues, I feel like making it to the exam was half of the battle so it was a learning experience I guess)
- (Partially) expected rejection from every law school I applied to again
- My dad and sister moved out of state
- And the most significant event -- Losing my Granny.

My grandma dying was rather sudden. She was in pain and couldn't eat so after a week in the hospital, then hospice, she died. Although she was 89, she had only had one significant health issue her entire life. Everyone expected her to outlive everyone. Seeing her health decline over the past year was difficult, but I tried to deny it. Saying goodbye to her in the hospice center was the hardest thing I've ever done. All of this happened in April but I still can't really wrap my head around her not being here anymore.

On top of that, my anxiety has remained the same in most aspects. In other aspects, it seems to have escalated. Social situations, working, and appointments are some of my major triggers. I'm seeing Therapist #2 weekly and so far, I've had a lot of "AH-HA!" moments. I'm optimistic that I'll tackle the beast called anxiety VERY soon with the help of my incredible support staff.

Ok, that's all for now. Time to get on a regular sleep schedule!

Oh, Therapy!

I've been going to the same wonderful therapist for over three years now and Wednesday was the first day she actually told me that I looked and seemed depressed. And honestly, I felt it. It was one of those days where I couldn't wake up and couldn't shake the funk I was in. A lot of it has to do with not liking my part-time job. It gives me no motivation to get to bed at a reasonable hour and out of bed before 9am. On top of that, I've had no appetite because of the depression.

I had a three-day weekend that started out terribly, too. I got my first law school rejection. It was from a school in Northern California that shall remain nameless. I was upset at first because it was a bit of a safety school. I didn't realize until later that it was in the top 40 and they may not have gotten my latest (and not so great but better!) LSAT score. Who knows! I slept in till almost 12:30 Saturday mostly because I didn't want to face the day. When I finally did, I went to the mall solo to get something sparkly to cheer myself up. Being unemployed sucks but when you're a bargain shopper like me, I make it work!

I did have a good weekend, though. Lots of sleeping, eating on Sunday (finally!), shopping Saturday (oops), and getting some creative juices flowing with crafts. Hopefully this week will bring better things (and big envelopes!).

Sweetest of dreams,
Melissa