Thursday, July 22, 2010

Worst week ever.

Last week, my doctor changed my meds and for the past week, my life has been a living hell. Going off of colonipin and on to xanax controlled release sent me back to the world of constant panic and fear. After a trip to the ER on Monday, they switched me back to colonipin. I was expecting to feel better by today but it seems as though nothing good is happening. The second I wake up, panic sets in and doesn't stop even after taking regular xanax and colonipin. I'm terrified for no reason and that scares the hell out of me. I've missed a week of work because I can't even get out of bed. I've lost 7 lbs in 5 days because I can't eat. I can only sleep when I take something. I'm constantly praying for this pain to go away. I know that I have to be patient but I need to live my life. There's only so much QVC and HSN I can take before I go completely crazy. I'm starting law school in three weeks and just changed all of my classes to online because I'm afraid of having a panic attack the day I start classes. I'm already nervous about orientation 8/13. It's sad, but I think what I'm looking forward to the most is getting good health insurance 8/1. I'm also moving into my own place at the end of July which is causing a bit of anxiety but it's close to my parents' (and Elwood) so that makes me feel a lot better. Plus, it's only a block away from my therapist so that gives me extra peace of mind.

So that's my giant run-on-paragraph update. I'm going to try to get out and go to the grocery store. Wish me luck!

1 comment:

  1. So how are things going? I've read some of your blog here and although I think I am much older than you[38]. I think I can relate to some of your issues. My anxiety issues have caused me to lose out on a lot in life. I was able to finally move from my parent's house last year at age 37 and it was a huge undertaking. I moved 400 miles out of my "comfort zone." But now that I'm here my depression and social phobia have kicked back in and now I'm finding it hard to make money are get established in the new area.